As a longtime adolescent and family therapist and former consultant to Chicago-area classroom teachers and administrators, I often get asked this question: “How can we/I/our school best support students in their transition back into the classroom after summer break?” Well, I’m glad you asked! You are essential to your student’s academic success and emotional health. There are innumerable ways that you can help support a healthy transition back to school. In fact, your alignment and support is essential.
Here are 3 key takeaways, based on hundreds of conversations with teachers, principals, kids and families:
Support students in their feelings regarding big transitions.
To them, school starting is a larger-than-life schedule change that holds immense pressure to not only please a new teacher(s), but to assimilate socially with a new cohort of peers. Notably, as students enter the second grade and above, their main peer and social group becomes and remains other students all the way through high school. At this time, they begin to develop a more independent identity from their parents.
To this end, teachers and caregivers alike can help by taking time to understand and audibly articulate their own feelings and worries. Try, “Wow, when I was driving into school this morning, I realized how much we have to do today.” This models that adjustment and worries are normal, and experienced by everyone.
Maintain a home (and classroom/school) culture characterized by consistent and open communication.
Students emulate what they see. They constantly absorb information regarding social norms and appropriate interactions by watching how adults interact with one another. Parents, as well as school leadership, can make this process meaningful by intentionally promoting a top-down culture of consistent and open communication between themselves and teachers. This can be especially impactful in the first few weeks of school where students are on ‘high alert’ and are building an internal foundation what it ‘means to be back.’
When time permits, create opportunities for teachers to discuss their issues and concerns and to share useful strategies and successes. When teachers perceive sharing as encouraged, they will be more likely to bring this mindset into their classrooms and into daily interactions with students. Times for this may include: school assembly “shout outs”, visits to classrooms by leadership, a peer-led support group and grade-band meetings.
Remember that behavior = communication.
With children, a certain behavior or pattern of behaviors communicates something about what they are going through. While children often lack a necessary vocabulary of feelings to explain how they feel, they are generally able to show us. When this happens, it can often be our first instinct to interpret negative comments, angry outbursts or destructive behaviors as manipulative, defiant or hurtful. In these moments, remember that these alerts indicate the child is in pain and is actually reaching out for support to understand and manage their feelings.
Students often become so overwhelmed or anxious that they don’t know how to deal with their feelings in a way other than ‘exploding’. Furthermore, these difficult behaviors often leave adults feeling angry, confused or anxious themselves. Parents may question their ability to understand, support or control their children's difficult behavior, and teachers may at times feel like they lack the tools to simultaneously teach and 'classroom manage.' This may actually tell us something.
This 'parallel feelings’ process gives us a clue to how the student may be feeling. In difficult situations, allowing time and space to express themselves, listening and validating feelings can help students feel supported and understood. Try, “You are having big feelings right now. I am sorry you are hurting.” This sends the message that you believe their feelings matter, that they matter.
Questions about how therapy at Downers Grove Counseling and Wellness can help you as a parent, your school-aged child or family? Please reach out to us. We are happy to provide options, discuss the intake process and provide additional information.
Downers Grove Counseling and Wellness PLLC
4910 Main Street
Downers Grove, IL 60515
Phone: (630) 426-9719
Practice website: https://www.downersgrovecounseling.com/
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